Story Behind Obsessive Love......

After all the stressful rushing around and putting together my First original single "Obsessive Love" I finally have gotten some free time in my hands to write:) So Today I write The story behind my song.

Obsessive Love is something that could happen to anyone knowingly or unknowingly in a relationship. During an intense deep Skype conversation between me and my good friend Anna, I was inspired by her  to take on this title for the song. Annaki made time to make me realise that I too once had an obsessive love for a person very close to my heart. In time I studied that  "Love" us humans experaince when in a relationship is a wheel that spins in our life. This wheel if however spins in the wrong direction, this is what you are left with. I have broken it down to four stages as highlighted in my song.

First Stage - First Verse:
This is the stage that makes our hearts wobble and gives us butterfly feelings in our tummies. The stage that you see a person and immediately you are mesmerized and taken away and you know in a second that you and the other person are meant to be. So with sudden feelings you wonder if this is the begining of something new?

Second Stage - Second Verse
The confused stage, without you knowing it your ruining your relationship with jealousy. Jealousy comes to all of us when in love with someone in a deep manner. It is rather not healthy but feelings of doubt sure does take over. So you are now in  a relationship and growing together in-spite of your differences however one suddenly wonders if its me that person needs or is there someone else out there? These insecurities are hard to be controlled in a world that is full of available options. Yet one must understand that true love has no options and the only option is you and your partner.

Third Stage - Bridge
Disaster stage has begun. With great wonder you begin to realize is this where it ends for us? Yes suddenly destruction find its way to destroy your relationship. It could be for any reasons like mistakes and regrets one has made. Through anger you fight the rush of rage. Frustration, anxiety, depression all this begins and makes you weak as a person. You want to escape but you somehow don't know how.

Stage Four - Chorus
The stage that gives you hope to live. With Complete complicated emotions you begin to think that the bad times have come, sure it has but nothing lasts forever because the good times are just ahead of you. The Chorus highlights feelings that how one realizes the stress of wanting to be with the one you love. It is hard to let go yet its a matter of fact of how much time you allow yourself to do. Time is a great healer so they say and now I say. Someway somehow you begin to fight your way back through it all with courage and hope for a better future, perhaps another Love.


I hope that all of you in some way might find its way to relate to this song. If You don't your a unique Star that shines in someones life:) but to many of us we have experienced the Obsessive Love Wheel. It is up to you to cherrish what you have in the relationship. Save the good throw the bad and spin the wheel in the correct direction. Less heartache the better:)

Remember life is full of choices. The right ones will Perish while the wrong ones will Destroy you. Seek and choose your next relationship Wisely.

MOHOMBI

Bump Bump and Boom Boom, its gonna be a Bumpy Ride......

You pulled me under, you pulled me over,

made my body surrender tonight,

who can love me? who can hold me? 

You will never find someone like MOHOMBI.... :) 

A warm heart and a very down to earth  person is he. Half Swedish and Congolese no wonder he is so Good looking:) Having come from a family as big as 14 kids I had the pleasure to meet not only Mohombi but his brother JOE who encouraged Mohombi to get into the spotlight.  

Hanging out together and having cocktails with the entire team it sure was an honor:) And it doesn't end there, Tonight is the BIG Night. MOHOMBI LIVE IN CONCERT ft IYAZ be there at CH n FC grounds 7pm onwards, for a night to remember:)

Under the Coconut Trees we stand

I will never forget this summer here in Colombo..... AYUBOWAN !

OBSESSED LOVE!

Obsessive Love

As I see you walking towards me
A rush of feelings sweep through within
Do I think your infatuated with me
Is this, a beginning for you and me

Obsessive love  you and me...... Yeah
Strong feelings I fight deep within
All a long, controlled, in denial I see
The sorrow of wanting to be with you

Need to know if its me that you need
Jealousy comes inside screaming, crushing
And I see you staring straight at me
Is this where it ends for you and me

Obsessive love you and me....... Yeah
Strong feelings I fight deep within
All a long, controlled, in denial I see
The agony of yearning to be with you

Destruction has found its way,
to destroy whats left of us.....
Obsessed love brought me down, Seething rage has just begun
Through it all I fight my way back
From this obsessive love wheel.


Obsessive love you and me....... Yeah
Strong feelings I fight deep within
All a long, controlled, in denial I see
The misery of wanting to be with you

Obsessive love you and me....... Yeah
Strong feelings I fight deep within
All a long, controlled, in denial I see
The distress of wanting to be with you................

Music Video Out! Enjoy xxx

MY BEAUTIFUL SOUL!

A Soul is Eternal! It has One beginning and No End. How you nurture your soul is completely in ones hands. For many of us we forget to nurture and enrich our souls to higher standards. We forget to feed our souls with good deeds. Acts of Love, Kindness, Forgiveness are a few deeds among many other that one could preserve somewhere deep within to enhance the beauty of your soul.

I have met and still continue meeting humans who have Two kinds of Souls. Some carry Goodness and Greatness in them where as sadly many have darkened souls that are hidden in the depths of destruction.

Annaki, You however certainly know how to hold a Beautiful yet a Pure Soul. A soul that is filled with goodness beyond imagination. You are one in a million that perseveres such purity. If one knew you they would instantly be mesmerized by your golden heart that is filled with much Love which is the key as to why your soul is so Beautiful to me.

Your existence in my life is greatly thanked to the high  one above each day, and off course I take this opportunity to tell you how precious you are to me. Words cant express my appreciation of your love to me. Day to day knowing i'm loved by you endlessly, I have reasons to be strong because of humans like you. I thank you today for being my strength during hard times.

You have once again without a shadow of doubt proved to me how wonderful life is to have you and your Beautiful Soul!

CHRISTINA och MATILDA

Safely returned home, back in sunny exotic Sri Lanka. Thinking about the great time I have had in London, I just cant get enough of it as my heart screams to go back there. Feeling unwell after an operation that I have had due to excess toxic of pure alcohol ...  hmmmm now whose to be blamed for such intake? my partners in crime off course.. Yes Christina and Matilda I greatly miss you two deeply.

Trying, but very painfully I sit in bed right now thinking how much you made my trip alive with all the love, laughter and off course during my hurtful times you two were both there for me and in fact you still continue to give me all your love. You both showed me that the distance between any ocean nor any mountain or any barrier could not break or tear our friendship a part.

Thank you for being two amazing human souls who have been there for me during this difficult time. I Miss You deeply and cant wait to spend more moments together soon. Till then my Swedish beauties, Skype Dates and various other technology will keep us all close to each other at all times.

All My Love and Thoughts........

I MISS YOU!.................

SOMETIMES....

Sometimes I wonder why,
You...never came close to me.....
Tell me why, you made me cry,
Now I know it was not worth my time.....

Should I listen for the first time..
Should I make you wanna be mine...
Should I fight this empty feeling inside..
or Should I let it fade in time...

Sometimes I wonder why,
I pushed you so far away,
Tell me why, its now I try,
To understand and make it worth my time.. Yeah..

Should I listen to my heart this time
Should I make you wanna be mine
Should I fight this strong love inside
or Should I let it burn in time......

Leaving all this pain aside you still made my  heart cry
Lost inside this pain my heart devours what's inside
Thinking were we meant to be
Am I loosing my mind
All I wanted was to be with you.....

Should I Fight this feeling baby....yeah.....
Should I just make you Mine.... Oooohh ...
Should I have ya or shouldn't' I
Should I Should I never Baby......
Could I Just Let it all disappear.......

Sometimes I wonder why, you never came close to me......

Notting Hill Carnival...

A time to celebrate the goodness in life and bring out the colorful personalities. Time to unleash the beauty within people through costumes, culture, food, beer, laughter and music from the West Indian world!....

Since 1964 the streets of London in the west Notting Hill area, people from the west indian community lead the parade every year in august for two to three days of non stop carnival. Families, friends and visitors from around the world gather to take and taste a glimpse of this extravagent carnival so colorful and beautiful. Yes you also see all the lovely sexy ladies and their humps and bumps:)

Now how can any Carnival happen to its fullest potential if they dont have the Fashion, Disco and Beauty Queens parading their too..??? hehehe so yes Me, Matilda and Christina along with Adam and lovely Berit paraded the streets of Chelsea and Notting Hill dancing away with the rest of  the 2 million of other people.

In This Carnival we girls make the rules up as we go and if you ever wanted to break one or two Notting Hill Carnival is sure the place to do so... :) Make sure you are a part of this carnival next year August as this is the second best biggest carnival in the world which is a must must see:) !

Girls, Girls, Girls!

Girls, Girls, Girls.....Long Legs, Red Lips, Fingertips, Dancing down London all night , Everywhere and Anywhere, Girls, Girls, Girls....... :)

Christina the Disco Queen, Matilda the Fashion Queen and Off course Chatz the Beauty Queen are turning London upside down! Gin and Tonic, Rum and Coke and JD on the Rocks sure does the trick for us girls to get on our feet and shake what our mamma's given us:)

Partying Non Stop, hangovers and pancakes with coffee the next morning, giggles of extraordinary moments spent each minuite , we sure are living life to the fullest. Could it happen anywhere in the world? I would say so But right here In London Town we are jiggling it all the way...... :)

Girls, Girls, Girls, Tight Pants, Straight Hair,  Dancing the night away in London Town Everywhere and Anywhere, Girls, Girls, Girls........................

The Party Just Continues............ !

You Gotta Love London !

Here I am back in the city after 1 year....so busy that the world says "It Never Sleeps" so true... so much to do so much to shop, Food, Fashion, Fun, Friends and Family.....simply.... Fabulous.... :)

Having great friends such as my beautiful eyes, my Christina here in White City im seeing London all over again in a whole new perspective. Enjoying new moments which I never thought I would or could once again back where I grew as a person and met many great friends during the 5years I lived here.

A time to cease all pain. A time to wake up and enjoy Life as it comes. With much mixed emotions I walk around great london with many thoughts to my self that I cannot share with anyone but me! Im feeling new things that I thought I would never ever feel, it's like my senses are awakeneing me. If im honest to myslef even I dont know what is happening to me.

But what I do know is spending time with Shanika, Christina, Tobi and lots of my friends and even new friends... I have forgotten what it truly is to live life to the fullest.

Dining out, Arts that speaks to your heart, spending your hard earnt money on labels instead of love is something I never felt gulity about.. and that you can do right here in London!:) cinema and popcorn and a good old laughing time with a girlfriend as great as Stina, a great girl movie like "bridesmaids" is sure a great night out.. but wait.. the pubs.. the beer... the cocktails and the JD's ooooohhhh the MUSIC???? you gotta love LONDON!

Music My Passion!

Mother strokes her big belly, carrying a 6month year old baby and attending rock music festivals, what kind of a cool mom are you? watching dad all the way from moms body, hearing him sing out loud, the voice so powerfull that even when inside the womb I applaud with great proudness to you dad, for being the greatest musician i've ever known.

Having carried both your artistic and genes of talent, I was soon born to this world. By the age of 1year and 4months as you say mom, I having a ear to pick up music, picked up the hymn and began to play the piano and hum my first song "Silent Night, Holy Night". Ever since My parents and off course I knew my Musical Life had begun.

Begining primary school at AMI Montesorry where at the age since 4years, I brought out all my talent at school concerts and various other performances. Having not looked back at my life of music since then I have continued my performances in all other schools I atteneded. It certainly didnt stop there, yet it continued. At the early age of 16years I participated in the all island musical talent contest "TNL ONSTAGE 2002". This was the event that gave me a platform to bring out my true talent, my Passion for Music, my Singing. With four competitive rounds and a Big Finale I had the great oppertunity to Win The "Best Soloist Category" that year.

Ever since I certainly havent looked back nor stop but continued singing my heart out in every oppertunity I had been given. Music makes me Happy, It unites me with the universe. Its a language that speaks directly to my heart and soul feeding me with great pleassure.A big Thank You for my Family, Friends, loved ones and off course all my loving fans, for the endless supoort and stregtth you have all given me.


Till death do us apart, from the day of conception to the day my soul shall rest, Music my Passion let it heal me..................

Life in the Media

Camera Roll.....STANDBY.....READY.....and ACTION.........

Out of all my desperate struggles in life, I fnally found a job that allows me to bring out my true personality. Yes being a part of a great TV station and being able to host my very own shows, is the best thing I have ever done in my entire life.

I began my Media life at the age of 15. Ever since winning TNL ONSTAGE my career in the music industry and in the media industry began. This has always been a great dream of mine to connect with people through music, the one language that brings the world close. Today being part  of the TV and having a career that was just made for me makes me truly happy.

To many of you who think Media life is great YES it sure is, the whole production team plays such a vital role in putting all acts together. Behind the scenes we all work so hard to make sure you guys enjoy the best shows and off course we put all our efforts in making the best TV shows possible simply for your viewing pleasure.


Now to all you music lovers you can tune to CSN or Prime TV channels within Sri Lanka, and to all who wants to watch it online, the page is www.primetv.lk and enjoy "The Global Music Show" every weekday at 11am (Sri Lankan time), where I host and present you the best of today's, yesterdays music from all over the world. A great variety of music videos, Hot Celeb Gossip , Fashion tips and so much more. Also to everyone who wants to have a chit chat with me on live TV you can watch "Music Runway" every weekday at 6pm (Sri Lankan time) and call me on 0094-112775283 for all requests and dedications. To all of you who are further interested about these shows and wondering how you can contact me, log on to Facebook through your profiles and simply type, "Music Runway" and for the other show "Global Music Show" and you can access our very own fan page where you are free to post your comments and views.

Now to all my frequent callers and great fans who have supported me endlessly a big Thank You! for being a great audience. If it isn't for you lot, this show wouldn't be possible. Also a big Thank You for my great friend Yasara for giving me this opportunity, its been amazing and working with the producer Malinda and Dulanjanee, and the rest of the crew you guys rock. Keep up the good work.


Finally I must tell you all "Never give up on your dreams, cause you never know when the next may come true" Dream big, Dream not just while your asleep but mostly when your awake".


Always remember when one door closes many other doors open :) So Go out, and grab your future dreams may it be in the media sector or perhaps a different category. Either way Good Luck to you all!


AND>>> CUT...........

Click below for the Fan Pages:)
http://www.facebook.com/MusicRunway
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Global-Music/122568704501813
www.primetv.lk (for online viewings)
(Please note I' m not on FB. Any Page under my name are all fake)

City of Time!

Tis the time to Love a City, a place full of Life, full of Energy. Growing up in a place so warm, beautiful and breathtaking is surely a gift. Having traveled many great cities and great countries and yet have found None that can be compared to the Blessed Island "The Pearl of the Indian ocean" My country, My Sri Lanka.

Being away from home and coming back and spending all these months back in sunny Colombo, I have realized what life is and what potential it has for me and always will. Colombo brings out the true me.

Being surrounded by family, friends, loved ones and everyone and anyone is such a warm deep feeling inside. A feeling of Love that captures our hearts and connects each and everyone of us in a whole different level. As the city is small in its size it somehow seems that in this city everyone always knows someone. Its a mystery chain that is linked with many wires that cannot be broken even if gone abroad or not. A connection so strong that only a few realize how to appreciate it.

Many travel seeking that connection for life's existence, to make life more lively more worthy to live for, but for some of us it is already there where ever you are. It all happens when you least expect it. So stop the struggle of finding happiness, just embrace it as it comes. Surely god created man and woman for companionship so not you nor me will ever be alone anymore.

Time is a great healer indeed. Believe in it and do your time, and at last you will find true Happiness without any doubt. Through Time and space, today I stand in a place far from where I was before. It slowly gradually opens you up to accept life as it is and simply appreciate for all what its given for you.

If your in any place that is deep and is struggling to get out remember my friend I too was in it and now through Time it set me Free. Here's A quote that makes me belive and I would like to remind us all through this quote embrace the beauty of life before Time runs out on you!

"Yesterday Is History,Tomorrow is a Mystery, But Today is a Gift, That is why its called The Present"
(Kung Fu Panda)

Enjoy The Present that is been given to you. Remember 'Nothing is Impossible', You just Got To Believe and let Time Travel with you!

Peace and Love, Chatz xoxo

Traffic Lights

Red says "STOP" we stop. 
Yellow says "Get Ready" we are half way there.
Green says "GO"  GO it is.........

At certain times due to the circumstance we all are put into a time of trial. The road we travel is a mystery that's out there. During our travel time we face many obstacles, "Traffic Lights" are a sure delay that puts our lives on hold for a period of time.We all get stuck in it no matter how much we try to avoid or run pass a light, we eventually come across another.

Likewise certain people walk into your life at different time frames! In mine many have walked in and walked out! Has it happened in yours?

A friend, a brother, a companion, a teacher, a lover, a lovely person you are to me! Are you not seeing the straight light ahead? Don't worry, be happy cause we both know that in time you will see that light, the one light that guides us to eternal life. This light will be bright and it will shine right through you!

I may be not the one for you, your destiny allows you to be with her! Yet my friendship and loyalty I surrender it all. I will always be there for you as you have during my struggle of time. I will not abandon you even if so the world may do.

Remember I myself am stuck at a traffic light, the Red kept me waiting for 8 long long months that felt like 80 years, and now I'm stuck at Yellow where I'm kept in between and to see the Green, I don't know how long more...

My friend I believe you are at a point where you too are stuck at a traffic light. However my prayers are going to take you right pass it sooner than you know. All the sessions of our youth time spent together which where you yourself taught us, spoke to us, today right now I tell you, I remind you, your own words "God will take care of you till the end" therefore "Be not afraid"

All the way till the end I will treasure you and keep your footprints in my heart close to me forever. What ever difficulty you and me we all face in life remember my dear one its just a matter of time as each traffic light we face the road still continues ahead. So buckle up the journey is long be Strong! 


GO GREEN........

Don't Cry

“It’s time you dry those tears and face each day as it comes” well, “I’ am trying so hard to just be positive and brave” And then “Great you will be fine, with or without him”.

There’s a time to cry and a time to dry all the tears you’ve cried. Never let anyone make you cry because the one who makes you, doesn’t deserve your tears, they never did cause if they did they won’t make you cry.

Talk to me softly
There's something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've
I've been there before
Something's changing inside you
And don't you know

Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

Give me a whisper
And give me a sigh
Give me a kiss before you tell me goodbye
Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinking of you
And the times we had...baby

And don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

And please remember that I never lied
And please remember how I felt inside now honey
You got to make it your own way
But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now baby

And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry tonight
Baby maybe someday
Don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry
Tonight

Thank You Gun’s n Roses for this beautiful song. A song that speaks right to my heart and soul, A song that brings me hope when there is no hope. A song that reminds me that no matter what or who will bring you down, just wipe your tears and sorrows, just move on.  You will always be a part of my life long journey, be close to me, guide me and in spite of nothing just at all time Always & Forever be with me.

Crossroads

A friend spoke to me about facing crossroads bravely. Whichever road you decide to take there is no right or wrong unless you design your destiny to fit its pattern accordingly to suit your needs and wants.

Many face this obstacle trying to make a decision when met at a crossroad. Some take shortcuts to achieve their dreams and future goals; others take the long route and let wisdom guide you. However some accomplish either route they take where as some trying in doing so fail. I certainly don’t know what lies ahead for me as they all say it sure is god’s plan for me which ever route I may take. Whatever that path maybe my only prayer now is it will lead me to serenity where I once can be brought to peace of mind.

Past several months of struggle to climb the ladder of life leaves me at times falling, still I know I must eventually pick myself up because there is no one else who would come to you in aid when you need them the most. Especially the ones you expect. Instead with the help of those who are around you I will rise again so high that neither you nor anyone can bring me down ever again.

A day comes to us all where you look back and praise god for each trial that he has put you through as you soon begin to see the victories ahead of you. I know that day will come for me too.

So here I stand at a crossroad deciding which path to choose, to carry out life and bring it to the next level. With god’s grace and sufficiency I pray that I will walk in the right valleys’, desserts, highways, and mountains, even cross the oceans so I can find solitude and blessings that will endure upon me to re-start my life all over again.

Strange how life suddenly allows you to start over. Pick up the broken pieces and fix it to a place that fix to its exact location. I certainly don’t know where or what will be my next place, in fact I don’t even know where life will take me next. But what I do know is I must overcome and face this crossroad bravely and choose the path to success as I believe that, “It is the Weak that Falls, yet the Strong shall Rise”

Now which Route do I take to begin this long journey ahead?????

I also know that it is not one crossroad that we will have to face in life but much more. For me this is just the Beginning.............

The Deepest Cut

Today I come across this book “ODJ” and here I turn to the page that represents my birth date. And the chapter is as follows.

In 2003 Sheryl Crow covered the old Cat Stevens song “ The first cut is the deepest” In this song she bemoans her first love, who wounded her so deeply that she now struggles to feel anything. She wants to love again but because her heart is broken she doesn’t know if she ever can.

The songwriter’s first love has moved on inflicting the first cut the anguish of a once intimate relationship now ripped apart. It’s difficult to say which is more painful, an outright split or the dutiful drudgery of existence found in a loveless relationship. 

Now with us all humans there comes a time when you least expect it "LOVE HAPPENS". After several years of many wounds I meet a complete stranger so randomly at a random moment in my life. He turns me inside, upside down and shows me the depth of love that one cannot seem to understand. Stealing my heart and soul I give him my all.

I have heard and learnt that with God, he calls a man and a woman to join together in a permanent, fulfilling union that is filled with Love and spiritual significance for a lifetime. I found that gift. It lasted for 9 months.

Our inherent yearning for a lifelong soul mate is rooted in the way we were once created. Through this creation two becomes one.  Sadly many fail to understand the true value of life long fulfillment, commitment, and many other vital factors that one needs to consider when entering holy matrimony. Due to mistakes from individuals, failures and falling, marital relationship becomes a lifelong hurt, a wound that is so deep even than the first cut. 

Author Tim Gustafson writes that even with deep cuts in a relationship that has gone bad, you can still find healing. Perhaps, his trying to send us a message of "HOPE".

I’m beginning to fear that if Hope is out there for me? I’m trembling with thoughts that shouldn’t come in to my mind, yet it keeps coming constantly as you give me no hope for my existence alone. Memories are beginning to fade; new moments are finding me confused. Someone special told me, Chatz : ''Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!'' Is this true? Could this be the honest truth? If it is just a bend, then when will my route amend? Guess the Truth is somewhere out there...

Breathe

Like a fresh breath of air you come into my life so sudden so soon…
Who are you to make me smile and tell me everything is going to be ok? Seize that
moment seize that thought, let time freeze the pain and bring me back to life. I
know I got a long, long way to go, but tell me how do I fill the
emptiness inside? All this pain does it go away? You walk in and
suddenly I find myself dazing and gazing about a feeling that I can’t
get my hands around. Could it be possible to feel again? A week and
already so much emotions, confusion, frustration. Cannot keep it all
in anymore.. Am I to let it out? who do I tell that this sensation is
incredible leaving me stunned, speechless. Am I a prisoner in your love?,
caught up in a world where I don’t seem to have any more access..
This spark each time I see you, keeps haunting me, knowing that the touch
to your soul is so far from near. My body is craving for your touch,
your warmth, your taste, your love. It’s never been this difficult to
be sensual and want you. I wonder if I will ever see you again. Now
and forever will you be my man? Could you kiss me on my salty lips and I bet you
would feel crazy about me…would it be my fault if I could turn you on?
Could I jump on you, turn you upside down and don’t wanna waste more time…
Grab that moment and steal a piece of time, make a memory and seal it
in a box. Could I hold on to that?

There are many pieces that is yet to be fixed to its exact place, this
mystery of life has left me with a puzzle in my thoughts. Can you
please help me unravel it? This can’t come as any surprise to you
because you know you want me too… don’t you? My bed is getting colder,
colder than ice, where is that fire that melted my heart and soul?
Without you one night alone I can’t handle it no more, do you have a heart of
stone? Many dreams untold instead let’s unfold them together again?
What’s lost can be found through space, through time.

Sitting in a black hole waiting for your hand in help and there you
are smiling back at me, you brought another dimension another light into my life. Have
you awakened my soul again? When one dream is shattered another is
meant to open. Are you my new dream? I have nothing to offer you but
my one last breath. So breathe on me you have one last chance. Take it or Leave it!.

Dawn of a New Year!

Like the wind that passes you by, another year has gone. Gone so fast that past memories are just thrown down. Like a storm that washes you away, blown by it and caught by it, with many mixed emotions and feelings. I stood there and watch it all crash down. In a second it all disappeared.  All I’m left with is the smell of your perfume all around me even when you’re gone. I see you here with me. Holding me, comforting me and grasping life the way it is. I try to reach out to you then I find you not near me, like the sweeper sweep dust, you are gone, swept off from me.

Many days that were to be treasured just turned to days of pain and agony. Hurt keeps taking over and there’s no room to breathe anymore. In the background at work I hear a song that once was whispered to my ear by you, you said truly madly deeply you will love me. That you want to stand on a mountain, bathe in the sea, and lay with me forever until the sky falls down. Did such words have meaning? Power to overcome any situation that arises? Or was it just words said for that moment alone? Trying to believe moments that never lasted forever, here I’ am entering a new year a new month a new life.

Don’t want to carry past mistakes anymore, just want to go forward, yet you keep pulling me back to a mess that I can’t help anymore. Guess forgiveness has far away to go. What can I do to change it to the better? I get help in every way I can, I try to make a change, but If I don’t have you is this fight all worth the while?

This New Year we all need to start new, start fresh, start over, forget and forgive all past mistakes made in life. Remember us humans are programmed to fall and rise at the same time. Tell yourself when doubting you can overcome problems.  Believe in yourself and the world will believe in you, let your resolutions set your goals higher in life. Reach out to the stars they will guide you. There is a higher power above. Believe in that. It certainly took me somewhere in life. It picked me up when I was fallen, it gave me hope. It will do the same for you.

Actions that caused us distance were mistakes. Having a resolution of live and learn is what I hope for. May this New Year bring all our dreams and wishes to come true. May it bring us closer once more. I hope it will be a year to believe in love again, to believe in people again, to forgive and receive forgiveness.  A year to be remembered for laughter and joy, not pain and sorrow.  A year to be remembered for the new person you ought to be not the old broken person you were. Now let the tide of tears come wash away my pain and let hope of a new dawn draw me to happiness once again. So Goodbye 2010 and Hello 2011.